Category Archives: suicidal thoughts

Something BIG and Something NEW

Posted on December 1, 2018 by lymestorm

I haven’t written in so long.  I considered never writing again.  I was tired, sick, worn down and didn’t really have anything new to say.  I was doing was the same old thing, day in and day out, getting sicker … Continue reading →

Posted in Amen, Antibiotics, Babesia, Babesiosis, bartonella, Being prepared, Blessed, chronic illness, chronic pain, Coinfections, detox, dreams come true, emotional, emotions, Exhausted, Exhaustion, fighting back, finding your way, getting better, getting worse, healing, Help, holistic, homeopathic, hope, I am the fire, I will get better!, I will win, illness, Immune problems, Immune system, Journey, LBC, let go and let god, LLMD, Love, Lyme, lyme disease, lyme's disease, Medical, Mycoplasma, oral medication, oral meds, sick, sick individual, St. Georg Klinik, staying sane, suicidal thoughts, Suicide, TBD, TBDs, Team Lymestorm, thankful, tickborne, tickborne diseases, ticks, Treatment, Uncategorized, unconventional, What to expect | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Woman Down

Posted on October 19, 2017 by lymestorm

It’s a beautiful fall day outside.  I can hear the children laughing and playing.  I’m confined to bed today.  I am in excruciating physical pain and emotionally I am a disaster.  My life has spun completely out of control and I’m … Continue reading →

Posted in Amen, anorexic, Antibiotics, Babesia, Babesiosis, bartonella, begging for help, binge eating, bulimic, chronic illness, chronic pain, Coinfections, Death, Depraved, depression, desperate, desperate times, detox, Dying, eating disorder, eating disorders, emotional, emotions, Exhausted, Exhaustion, faking, faking being ok, Fighter, fighting back, finances, financial help, friends, getting better, getting worse, go your own way, healing, healing yourself, Hell, Help, highs and lows, I will get better!, I will win, illness, Immune problems, Journey, LBC, Life is unfair, LLMD, loneliness, Lyme, lyme disease, lyme's disease, Medical, Medication Overload, Misery, Mycoplasma, No Stamina, obsessive compulsive disorder, OCD, oral medication, oral meds, rehab, scared, sick, sick individual, Sleep Deprivation, spoon theory, spoons, staying sane, steps, suicidal thoughts, Suicide, TBD, TBDs, Team Lymestorm, the spoon theory, tickborne, tickborne diseases, ticks, Treatment, trying new stuff, Uncategorized, What to expect, withdrawl, Zombie | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

Psych Ward : Part 2

Posted on September 26, 2016 by lymestorm

I’ve made a very difficult decision today.  I am going to post my “journal” from my time in the psych ward last year when my ammonia levels where exuberantly high.  No one had ever seen them before today when I … Continue reading →

Posted in alone, Amen, ammonia, ammonia levels, Anxiety, Babesia, Babesiosis, begging for help, chronic illness, Coinfections, depression, desperate, desperate times, disappointed, Disheartened, emotional, emotions, ER, Exhausted, Exhaustion, faking, faking being ok, Fighter, fighting back, getting better, getting worse, Halestorm, healing, Hell, Help, helping yourself, I am the fire, I will get better!, I will win, illness, Its not your fault, let go and let god, Life is unfair, loneliness, Love, Lyme, lyme disease, lyme's disease, Lzzy Hale, lzzyhale, Medical, Meditation, Misery, Mycoplasma, pretending, psych ward, Real People, religion, sick, sick individual, Sleep Deprivation, spiritual, Spiritual, Spiritualty, spoon theory, spoons, staying sane, suicidal thoughts, Suicide, TBD, TBDs, Team Lymestorm, tickborne, tickborne diseases, ticks, Treatment, Uncategorized, What to expect, yoga | Leave a comment

Phoenix Rising

Posted on May 4, 2016 by lymestorm

The last several months I haven’t been myself.  Too tired, too depressed, too suicidal to do anything. My days were taken minute by minute in a battle to survive the damage that my brain and body have endured. I found … Continue reading →

Posted in alone, Amen, Babesia, Babesiosis, bartonella, being ok, Being prepared, Blessed, chronic illness, chronic pain, Coinfections, Death, Depraved, depression, desperate times, disappointed, Disheartened, Dying, emotional, emotions, Exhausted, Exhaustion, faking, faking being ok, Fighter, fighting back, finding your way, Freaks, friends, getting better, getting worse, go your own way, growing stronger, healing, healing yourself, Hell, Help, Herx, herxing, hope, I am the fire, I will get better!, I will win, illness, Immune problems, Its not your fault, Journey, LBC, let go and let god, Life is unfair, LLMD, loneliness, Lyme, lyme disease, lyme's disease, Medical, Medication Overload, Misery, Mycoplasma, No Stamina, oral medication, oral meds, Pacing yourself, poisonpeople, pretending, rain, Real People, reflection, sick, sick individual, Spiritual, Spiritualty, spoon theory, spoons, staying sane, suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Support groups, Survival, TBD, TBDs, Team Lymestorm, thankful, the spoon theory, tickborne, Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Surviving the Setbacks

Posted on March 5, 2016 by lymestorm

I have been too tired, too exhausted to post anything for such a long time.  Treatment had not been going well and after talking to my doctor, I had an emergency appointment with my doctor at the beginning of last … Continue reading →

Posted in Antibiotics, Anxiety, B12, Babesia, bartonella, chronic illness, chronic pain, Coinfections, Death, Depraved, depression, desperate, desperate times, disappointed, Disheartened, Dying, Educate, emotional, emotions, Exhausted, Exhaustion, Fighter, fighting back, finding your way, Freaks, getting better, getting worse, healing, Hell, Help, helping yourself, Herx, herxing, holistic, homeopathic, hope, I am the fire, I will get better!, I will win, illness, Immune problems, Immune system, Its not your fault, Journey, LBC, Life is unfair, LLMD, loneliness, Love, Low Cortisol, Lyme, lyme disease, Medical, Medication Overload, Misery, No Stamina, obsessive compulsive disorder, OCD, oral medication, oral meds, Pacing yourself, pretending, Purium, sick, sick individual, Sleep Deprivation, spiritual, Spiritual, Spiritualty, spoon theory, spoons, staying sane, steps, suicidal thoughts, Survival, TBD, TBDs, Team Lymestorm, thankful, the spoon theory, tickborne, tickborne diseases, ticks, Treatment, trying new stuff, Uncategorized, unconventional, What to expect, Zombie | 5 Comments

Support

Posted on December 4, 2015 by lymestorm

Lyme disease (not to mention its coinfections) cannot be fought alone.  The old saying that “It takes a village to raise a child” is 100% applicable to tickborne illnesses.  Because in a way the road to health and remission requires … Continue reading →

Posted in alone, Amen, Antibiotics, Babesia, Babesiosis, bartonella, chronic illness, chronic pain, Coinfections, Death, desperate, desperate times, Dying, emotional, emotions, Exhausted, Exhaustion, Fighter, fighting back, getting better, getting worse, healing, Hell, Herx, herxing, homeopathic, I am the fire, I will get better!, I will win, illness, Immune problems, Its not your fault, Journey, LBC, Life is unfair, LLMD, loneliness, Love, Lyme, lyme disease, Medical, Medication Overload, No Stamina, oral medication, oral meds, poisonpeople, pretending, Purium, sick, sick individual, staying sane, suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Survival, TBD, TBDs, Team Lymestorm, tickborne, tickborne diseases, ticks, Treatment, Uncategorized, Zombie | 2 Comments

Unconventional Road to Health

Posted on September 29, 2015 by lymestorm

I am intense.  I always have been.  I can be laid back but always in an intense kind of way.  After all I am a Virgo.  There are certain traits about myself that I just love and this happens to … Continue reading →

Posted in alone, Amen, Antibiotics, Anxiety, Babesia, Babesiosis, bartonella, being ok, Being prepared, Blessed, chronic illness, chronic pain, Coinfections, Comfort, desperate, desperate times, dreams come true, Educate, emotional, Exhausted, Exhaustion, faking being ok, fighting back, finding your way, food, food matters, Freaks, getting better, go your own way, growing, growing stronger, Halestorm, healing, healing yourself, helping yourself, holistic, homeopathic, hope, I am the fire, I will get better!, I will win, illness, Immune problems, Immune system, Its not your fault, IV infusion, Journey, LBC, left brain, LLMD, loneliness, Love, Lyme, lyme disease, Lzzy Hale, lzzyhale, Medical, Medication Overload, Meditation, Mycoplasma, obsessive compulsive disorder, OCD, oral medication, Pacing yourself, poisonpeople, psychic abilities, Purium, Real People, reflection, religion, right brain, sick, sick individual, spiritual, Spiritualty, spoon theory, spoons, staying sane, suicidal thoughts, Survival, TBD, TBDs, Team Lymestorm, thankful, the spoon theory, tickborne, tickborne diseases, ticks, Treatment, trying new stuff, Uncategorized, unconventional, yoga | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Stuck In Between

Posted on August 20, 2015 by lymestorm

I’m stuck. Some days its more like being trapped.  The last few months have been pretty much a living nightmare.  I’ve had so many set backs with treatment.  My body is worn out and my brain is a mess most … Continue reading →

Posted in alone, Antibiotics, Anxiety, Babesia, Babesiosis, bartonella, being ok, Being prepared, Blessed, chronic illness, chronic pain, Coinfections, Comfort, Death, desperate times, disappointed, Disheartened, Dying, emotional, emotions, Exhausted, Exhaustion, faking, faking being ok, Fighter, fighting back, finding your way, food, food matters, Freaks, friends, getting better, getting worse, go your own way, growing, growing stronger, healing, healng yourself, Hell, helping yourself, holistic, homeopathic, hope, I will get better!, I will win, illness, Immune problems, Immune system, Its not your fault, Journey, LBC, left brain, let go and let god, Life is unfair, LLMD, loneliness, Love, Lyme, lyme disease, Medical, Meditation, Misery, Mycoplasma, nature, obsessive compulsive disorder, OCD, oral medication, oral meds, poisonpeople, pretending, rain, rainstorms, Real People, reflection, religion, right brain, rivers, sick, sick individual, Sleep Deprivation, spiritual, Spiritualty, spoons, staying sane, steps, suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Support groups, Support\, Survival, TBD, TBDs, Team Lymestorm, Ten Millions Voices, thankful, thunderstorms, tickborne, tickborne diseases, ticks, Treatment, True love, Uncategorized, what life's about, withdrawl, yoga | 6 Comments

Death by Tick?

Posted on July 24, 2015 by lymestorm

I am sick. Very sick. Again. I keep hiding things that I shouldn’t be.  I’m not accurately communicating even when I try my hardest.  Today has been filled with lots of tears.  My plate and cup are overflowing with guilt … Continue reading →

Posted in alone, Amen, Anxiety, Babesia, Babesiosis, bartonella, Blessed, chronic illness, chronic pain, Coinfections, Comfort, Death, Depraved, disappointed, Disheartened, Dying, Educate, emotional, emotions, ER, Exhausted, Exhaustion, faking, faking being ok, Fighter, fighting back, food matters, Freaks, friends, germs, getting better, getting worse, go your own way, growing, healing, healng yourself, Hell, Help, helping yourself, hope, I am the fire, illness, Immune problems, Immune system, Its not your fault, Journey, LBC, left brain, let go and let god, letting go, Life is unfair, LLMD, loneliness, Love, Lyme, lyme disease, Lzzy Hale, Medical, Medication Overload, Meditation, Morrie Schwartz, nature, No Stamina, obsessive compulsive disorder, OCD, oral medication, oral meds, Pacing yourself, poisonpeople, pretending, psych ward, reflection, religion, right brain, Shaman's Harvest, sick, sick individual, Sleep Deprivation, spiritual, steps, suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Support groups, Survival, TBD, TBDs, Team Lymestorm, Ten Millions Voices, thankful, tickborne, tickborne diseases, ticks, Treatment, True love, trying new stuff, Tuesdays With Morrie, Uncategorized, what life's about, withdrawl, yoga, Zombie | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments

Psych Ward

Posted on July 12, 2015 by lymestorm

This is hard one for me and one I struggled with as to whether to discuss, but I promised myself I would be open and honest about my journey through my illness and treatment.  I needed some time to process … Continue reading →

Posted in alone, Amen, Anxiety, Babesia, Babesiosis, bartonella, begging for help, being ok, Being prepared, chronic illness, chronic pain, Coinfections, Comfort, Depraved, desperate, disappointed, Disheartened, Educate, emotional, ER, Exhausted, Exhaustion, faking, faking being ok, Fighter, fighting back, Freaks, friends, germs, getting better, getting worse, go your own way, growing, growing stronger, Halestorm, healing, Hell, Help, helping yourself, hope, I am the fire, I will get better!, I will win, illness, Immune problems, Immune system, Its not your fault, Journey, LBC, let go and let god, letting go, Life is unfair, LLMD, loneliness, Love, Lyme, lyme disease, Lzzy Hale, lzzyhale, Medical, Meditation, Misery, No Stamina, obsessive compulsive disorder, OCD, oral medication, oral meds, Pacing yourself, poisonpeople, pretending, psych ward, reflection, right brain, sick, sick individual, Sleep Deprivation, Spiritual, Spiritualty, spoon theory, spoons, steps, suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Support\, Survival, TBD, TBDs, Team Lymestorm, tickborne, tickborne diseases, ticks, Treatment, Uncategorized, what life's about, What to expect, withdrawl, Zombie | Tagged | 6 Comments