Category Archives: faking

Woman Down

It’s a beautiful fall day outside.  I can hear the children laughing and playing.  I’m confined to bed today.  I am in excruciating physical pain and emotionally I am a disaster.  My life has spun completely out of control and I’m … Continue reading

Posted in Amen, anorexic, Antibiotics, Babesia, Babesiosis, bartonella, begging for help, binge eating, bulimic, chronic illness, chronic pain, Coinfections, Death, Depraved, depression, desperate, desperate times, detox, Dying, eating disorder, eating disorders, emotional, emotions, Exhausted, Exhaustion, faking, faking being ok, Fighter, fighting back, finances, financial help, friends, getting better, getting worse, go your own way, healing, healing yourself, Hell, Help, highs and lows, I will get better!, I will win, illness, Immune problems, Journey, LBC, Life is unfair, LLMD, loneliness, Lyme, lyme disease, lyme's disease, Medical, Medication Overload, Misery, Mycoplasma, No Stamina, obsessive compulsive disorder, OCD, oral medication, oral meds, rehab, scared, sick, sick individual, Sleep Deprivation, spoon theory, spoons, staying sane, steps, suicidal thoughts, Suicide, TBD, TBDs, Team Lymestorm, the spoon theory, tickborne, tickborne diseases, ticks, Treatment, trying new stuff, Uncategorized, What to expect, withdrawl, Zombie | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

Psych Ward : Part 2

I’ve made a very difficult decision today.  I am going to post my “journal” from my time in the psych ward last year when my ammonia levels where exuberantly high.  No one had ever seen them before today when I … Continue reading

Posted in alone, Amen, ammonia, ammonia levels, Anxiety, Babesia, Babesiosis, begging for help, chronic illness, Coinfections, depression, desperate, desperate times, disappointed, Disheartened, emotional, emotions, ER, Exhausted, Exhaustion, faking, faking being ok, Fighter, fighting back, getting better, getting worse, Halestorm, healing, Hell, Help, helping yourself, I am the fire, I will get better!, I will win, illness, Its not your fault, let go and let god, Life is unfair, loneliness, Love, Lyme, lyme disease, lyme's disease, Lzzy Hale, lzzyhale, Medical, Meditation, Misery, Mycoplasma, pretending, psych ward, Real People, religion, sick, sick individual, Sleep Deprivation, spiritual, Spiritual, Spiritualty, spoon theory, spoons, staying sane, suicidal thoughts, Suicide, TBD, TBDs, Team Lymestorm, tickborne, tickborne diseases, ticks, Treatment, Uncategorized, What to expect, yoga | Leave a comment

Shakes and Emotions

I finished dosing Friday and it took me longer to recover than usual. I missed most of a beautiful weekend because my body would not cooperate.  My fatigue was dictating my life again.  I wanted to stay awake and take … Continue reading

Posted in alone, Antibiotics, Anxiety, Babesia, Babesiosis, bartonella, being ok, chronic illness, chronic pain, Coinfections, Congress, Death, depression, desperate, desperate times, disappointed, Disheartened, Educate, emotional, emotions, Exhausted, Exhaustion, faking, faking being ok, Fighter, fighting back, Freaks, getting better, getting worse, growing, Hell, Help, Herx, I am the fire, I will get better!, I will win, Life is unfair, loneliness, Love, Lyme, lyme disease, lyme's disease, Medical, Medication Overload, Misery, Mycoplasma, No Stamina, oral medication, pretending, rain, rainstorms, reflection, sick, sick individual, spoon theory, spoons, staying sane, Support\, Survival, TBD, TBDs, Team Lymestorm, Ten Millions Voices, tickborne, tickborne diseases, ticks, Uncategorized, What to expect | Leave a comment

Love and Relapse

It’s about 3:30 in the morning and I can’t sleep.  I’m sick.  Sicker than I’ve been in a very long time.  Life and its recent stresses have caught up to me.  I need to release, so here I am. I … Continue reading

Posted in Amen, Antibiotics, Anxiety, Babesia, Babesiosis, bartonella, Blessed, chronic illness, chronic pain, Coinfections, Comfort, emotions, Exhausted, Exhaustion, faking, faking being ok, Fighter, fighting back, getting worse, I am the fire, I will get better!, I will win, illness, Immune problems, Immune system, Its not your fault, IV infusion, LBC, let go and let god, Life is unfair, Love, Lyme, lyme disease, lyme's disease, Medical, Mitch Albom, Morrie Schwartz, Mycoplasma, No Stamina, oral medication, oral meds, Pacing yourself, pretending, religion, sick, sick individual, Sleep Deprivation, spoon theory, spoons, steps, Support\, Survival, TBD, TBDs, Team Lymestorm, thankful, the spoon theory, tickborne, tickborne diseases, ticks, Tuesdays With Morrie | Leave a comment

Phoenix Rising

The last several months I haven’t been myself.  Too tired, too depressed, too suicidal to do anything. My days were taken minute by minute in a battle to survive the damage that my brain and body have endured. I found … Continue reading

Posted in alone, Amen, Babesia, Babesiosis, bartonella, being ok, Being prepared, Blessed, chronic illness, chronic pain, Coinfections, Death, Depraved, depression, desperate times, disappointed, Disheartened, Dying, emotional, emotions, Exhausted, Exhaustion, faking, faking being ok, Fighter, fighting back, finding your way, Freaks, friends, getting better, getting worse, go your own way, growing stronger, healing, healing yourself, Hell, Help, Herx, herxing, hope, I am the fire, I will get better!, I will win, illness, Immune problems, Its not your fault, Journey, LBC, let go and let god, Life is unfair, LLMD, loneliness, Lyme, lyme disease, lyme's disease, Medical, Medication Overload, Misery, Mycoplasma, No Stamina, oral medication, oral meds, Pacing yourself, poisonpeople, pretending, rain, Real People, reflection, sick, sick individual, Spiritual, Spiritualty, spoon theory, spoons, staying sane, suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Support groups, Survival, TBD, TBDs, Team Lymestorm, thankful, the spoon theory, tickborne, Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Trapped Inside My Own Head

For the last couple of months I have been confined to a terrible, horrible place…my own mind.  I haven’t written. I haven’t danced. I’ve hardly left the house.  I haven’t been participating in life around me.  I haven’t done much … Continue reading

Posted in alone, Antibiotics, Anxiety, Babesia, Babesiosis, bartonella, being ok, chronic illness, chronic pain, Coinfections, Depraved, depression, desperate, desperate times, disappointed, Disheartened, emotional, emotions, Exhausted, Exhaustion, faking, faking being ok, Fighter, fighting back, finding your way, Freaks, friends, getting better, getting worse, Hell, I am the fire, I will get better!, I will win, illness, Immune problems, Immune system, Its not your fault, Journey, LBC, Life is unfair, loneliness, Lyme, lyme disease, Medical, Medication Overload, Misery, obsessive compulsive disorder, OCD, oral medication, oral meds, sick, sick individual, spoons, staying sane, Survival, TBD, TBDs, Team Lymestorm, tickborne, tickborne diseases, ticks, Treatment, Uncategorized, withdrawl, Zombie | 2 Comments

What Is Wrong With Me?

What is wrong with me? That’s a question I get from just about everyone and one that I ask myself maybe too often.  I know my diseases.  I know them well.  After all, we’ve spent half of my life together … Continue reading

Posted in Antibiotics, Anxiety, Babesia, Babesiosis, bartonella, being ok, Being prepared, Blessed, chronic illness, chronic pain, Coinfections, Comfort, eat well to be well, emotional, emotions, Exhaustion, faking, faking being ok, Fighter, fighting back, finding your way, food, food matters, Freaks, getting better, go your own way, growing, growing stronger, healing, healing yourself, helping yourself, Herx, herxing, holistic, homeopathic, hope, I will get better!, I will win, illness, Immune problems, Immune system, Its not your fault, Journey, letting go, LLMD, Lyme, lyme disease, Medical, Medication Overload, Meditation, Mycoplasma, nature, obsessive compulsive disorder, OCD, oral medication, oral meds, Pacing yourself, pretending, psychic, psychic abilities, Purium, reflection, religion, right brain, sick, sick individual, spiritual, spoon theory, spoons, staying sane, steps, Support groups, Support\, Survival, TBD, TBDs, Team Lymestorm, Ten Millions Voices, thankful, the spoon theory, tickborne, tickborne diseases, ticks, Treatment, Uncategorized, unconventional, What to expect, yoga | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments