Category Archives: desperate

Woman Down

It’s a beautiful fall day outside.  I can hear the children laughing and playing.  I’m confined to bed today.  I am in excruciating physical pain and emotionally I am a disaster.  My life has spun completely out of control and I’m … Continue reading

Posted in Amen, anorexic, Antibiotics, Babesia, Babesiosis, bartonella, begging for help, binge eating, bulimic, chronic illness, chronic pain, Coinfections, Death, Depraved, depression, desperate, desperate times, detox, Dying, eating disorder, eating disorders, emotional, emotions, Exhausted, Exhaustion, faking, faking being ok, Fighter, fighting back, finances, financial help, friends, getting better, getting worse, go your own way, healing, healing yourself, Hell, Help, highs and lows, I will get better!, I will win, illness, Immune problems, Journey, LBC, Life is unfair, LLMD, loneliness, Lyme, lyme disease, lyme's disease, Medical, Medication Overload, Misery, Mycoplasma, No Stamina, obsessive compulsive disorder, OCD, oral medication, oral meds, rehab, scared, sick, sick individual, Sleep Deprivation, spoon theory, spoons, staying sane, steps, suicidal thoughts, Suicide, TBD, TBDs, Team Lymestorm, the spoon theory, tickborne, tickborne diseases, ticks, Treatment, trying new stuff, Uncategorized, What to expect, withdrawl, Zombie | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

Babesia Blues

I’ve been down in a dark hole for weeks now.  I just finished four months of Babesia treatment.  Four long, rough months.  While I haven’t been physically herxing the mental herxing has been nearly unbearable.  I’ve been all over the … Continue reading

Posted in alone, Antibiotics, Anxiety, Babesia, Babesiosis, bartonella, begging for help, chronic illness, chronic pain, Coinfections, Depraved, depression, desperate, desperate times, disappointed, Disheartened, Dying, emotional, emotions, Exhausted, Exhaustion, faking being ok, finances, Freaks, getting worse, Hell, Help, Herx, herxing, highs and lows, I will get better!, I will win, illness, Immune problems, Immune system, Its not your fault, Journey, LBC, Life is unfair, LLMD, loneliness, Lyme, lyme disease, lyme's disease, Medical, Medication Overload, Mycoplasma, No Stamina, obsessive compulsive disorder, OCD, oral medication, oral meds, pretending, reflection, sick, sick individual, Sleep Deprivation, spoon theory, spoons, Support groups, Support\, TBD, TBDs, Team Lymestorm, the spoon theory, tickborne, tickborne diseases, ticks, Treatment, Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Psych Ward : Part 2

I’ve made a very difficult decision today.  I am going to post my “journal” from my time in the psych ward last year when my ammonia levels where exuberantly high.  No one had ever seen them before today when I … Continue reading

Posted in alone, Amen, ammonia, ammonia levels, Anxiety, Babesia, Babesiosis, begging for help, chronic illness, Coinfections, depression, desperate, desperate times, disappointed, Disheartened, emotional, emotions, ER, Exhausted, Exhaustion, faking, faking being ok, Fighter, fighting back, getting better, getting worse, Halestorm, healing, Hell, Help, helping yourself, I am the fire, I will get better!, I will win, illness, Its not your fault, let go and let god, Life is unfair, loneliness, Love, Lyme, lyme disease, lyme's disease, Lzzy Hale, lzzyhale, Medical, Meditation, Misery, Mycoplasma, pretending, psych ward, Real People, religion, sick, sick individual, Sleep Deprivation, spiritual, Spiritual, Spiritualty, spoon theory, spoons, staying sane, suicidal thoughts, Suicide, TBD, TBDs, Team Lymestorm, tickborne, tickborne diseases, ticks, Treatment, Uncategorized, What to expect, yoga | Leave a comment

Shakes and Emotions

I finished dosing Friday and it took me longer to recover than usual. I missed most of a beautiful weekend because my body would not cooperate.  My fatigue was dictating my life again.  I wanted to stay awake and take … Continue reading

Posted in alone, Antibiotics, Anxiety, Babesia, Babesiosis, bartonella, being ok, chronic illness, chronic pain, Coinfections, Congress, Death, depression, desperate, desperate times, disappointed, Disheartened, Educate, emotional, emotions, Exhausted, Exhaustion, faking, faking being ok, Fighter, fighting back, Freaks, getting better, getting worse, growing, Hell, Help, Herx, I am the fire, I will get better!, I will win, Life is unfair, loneliness, Love, Lyme, lyme disease, lyme's disease, Medical, Medication Overload, Misery, Mycoplasma, No Stamina, oral medication, pretending, rain, rainstorms, reflection, sick, sick individual, spoon theory, spoons, staying sane, Support\, Survival, TBD, TBDs, Team Lymestorm, Ten Millions Voices, tickborne, tickborne diseases, ticks, Uncategorized, What to expect | Leave a comment

Surviving the Setbacks

I have been too tired, too exhausted to post anything for such a long time.  Treatment had not been going well and after talking to my doctor, I had an emergency appointment with my doctor at the beginning of last … Continue reading

Posted in Antibiotics, Anxiety, B12, Babesia, bartonella, chronic illness, chronic pain, Coinfections, Death, Depraved, depression, desperate, desperate times, disappointed, Disheartened, Dying, Educate, emotional, emotions, Exhausted, Exhaustion, Fighter, fighting back, finding your way, Freaks, getting better, getting worse, healing, Hell, Help, helping yourself, Herx, herxing, holistic, homeopathic, hope, I am the fire, I will get better!, I will win, illness, Immune problems, Immune system, Its not your fault, Journey, LBC, Life is unfair, LLMD, loneliness, Love, Low Cortisol, Lyme, lyme disease, Medical, Medication Overload, Misery, No Stamina, obsessive compulsive disorder, OCD, oral medication, oral meds, Pacing yourself, pretending, Purium, sick, sick individual, Sleep Deprivation, spiritual, Spiritual, Spiritualty, spoon theory, spoons, staying sane, steps, suicidal thoughts, Survival, TBD, TBDs, Team Lymestorm, thankful, the spoon theory, tickborne, tickborne diseases, ticks, Treatment, trying new stuff, Uncategorized, unconventional, What to expect, Zombie | 5 Comments

Trapped Inside My Own Head

For the last couple of months I have been confined to a terrible, horrible place…my own mind.  I haven’t written. I haven’t danced. I’ve hardly left the house.  I haven’t been participating in life around me.  I haven’t done much … Continue reading

Posted in alone, Antibiotics, Anxiety, Babesia, Babesiosis, bartonella, being ok, chronic illness, chronic pain, Coinfections, Depraved, depression, desperate, desperate times, disappointed, Disheartened, emotional, emotions, Exhausted, Exhaustion, faking, faking being ok, Fighter, fighting back, finding your way, Freaks, friends, getting better, getting worse, Hell, I am the fire, I will get better!, I will win, illness, Immune problems, Immune system, Its not your fault, Journey, LBC, Life is unfair, loneliness, Lyme, lyme disease, Medical, Medication Overload, Misery, obsessive compulsive disorder, OCD, oral medication, oral meds, sick, sick individual, spoons, staying sane, Survival, TBD, TBDs, Team Lymestorm, tickborne, tickborne diseases, ticks, Treatment, Uncategorized, withdrawl, Zombie | 2 Comments

Support

Lyme disease (not to mention its coinfections) cannot be fought alone.  The old saying that “It takes a village to raise a child” is 100% applicable to tickborne illnesses.  Because in a way the road to health and remission requires … Continue reading

Posted in alone, Amen, Antibiotics, Babesia, Babesiosis, bartonella, chronic illness, chronic pain, Coinfections, Death, desperate, desperate times, Dying, emotional, emotions, Exhausted, Exhaustion, Fighter, fighting back, getting better, getting worse, healing, Hell, Herx, herxing, homeopathic, I am the fire, I will get better!, I will win, illness, Immune problems, Its not your fault, Journey, LBC, Life is unfair, LLMD, loneliness, Love, Lyme, lyme disease, Medical, Medication Overload, No Stamina, oral medication, oral meds, poisonpeople, pretending, Purium, sick, sick individual, staying sane, suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Survival, TBD, TBDs, Team Lymestorm, tickborne, tickborne diseases, ticks, Treatment, Uncategorized, Zombie | 2 Comments

Unconventional Road to Health

I am intense.  I always have been.  I can be laid back but always in an intense kind of way.  After all I am a Virgo.  There are certain traits about myself that I just love and this happens to … Continue reading

Posted in alone, Amen, Antibiotics, Anxiety, Babesia, Babesiosis, bartonella, being ok, Being prepared, Blessed, chronic illness, chronic pain, Coinfections, Comfort, desperate, desperate times, dreams come true, Educate, emotional, Exhausted, Exhaustion, faking being ok, fighting back, finding your way, food, food matters, Freaks, getting better, go your own way, growing, growing stronger, Halestorm, healing, healing yourself, helping yourself, holistic, homeopathic, hope, I am the fire, I will get better!, I will win, illness, Immune problems, Immune system, Its not your fault, IV infusion, Journey, LBC, left brain, LLMD, loneliness, Love, Lyme, lyme disease, Lzzy Hale, lzzyhale, Medical, Medication Overload, Meditation, Mycoplasma, obsessive compulsive disorder, OCD, oral medication, Pacing yourself, poisonpeople, psychic abilities, Purium, Real People, reflection, religion, right brain, sick, sick individual, spiritual, Spiritualty, spoon theory, spoons, staying sane, suicidal thoughts, Survival, TBD, TBDs, Team Lymestorm, thankful, the spoon theory, tickborne, tickborne diseases, ticks, Treatment, trying new stuff, Uncategorized, unconventional, yoga | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Psych Ward

This is hard one for me and one I struggled with as to whether to discuss, but I promised myself I would be open and honest about my journey through my illness and treatment.  I needed some time to process … Continue reading

Posted in alone, Amen, Anxiety, Babesia, Babesiosis, bartonella, begging for help, being ok, Being prepared, chronic illness, chronic pain, Coinfections, Comfort, Depraved, desperate, disappointed, Disheartened, Educate, emotional, ER, Exhausted, Exhaustion, faking, faking being ok, Fighter, fighting back, Freaks, friends, germs, getting better, getting worse, go your own way, growing, growing stronger, Halestorm, healing, Hell, Help, helping yourself, hope, I am the fire, I will get better!, I will win, illness, Immune problems, Immune system, Its not your fault, Journey, LBC, let go and let god, letting go, Life is unfair, LLMD, loneliness, Love, Lyme, lyme disease, Lzzy Hale, lzzyhale, Medical, Meditation, Misery, No Stamina, obsessive compulsive disorder, OCD, oral medication, oral meds, Pacing yourself, poisonpeople, pretending, psych ward, reflection, right brain, sick, sick individual, Sleep Deprivation, Spiritual, Spiritualty, spoon theory, spoons, steps, suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Support\, Survival, TBD, TBDs, Team Lymestorm, tickborne, tickborne diseases, ticks, Treatment, Uncategorized, what life's about, What to expect, withdrawl, Zombie | Tagged | 6 Comments

Deprived, Depraved, Depressed, Disheartened

I haven’t been sleeping well again. And I haven’t been taking care of myself.  I’m falling into old patterns and trying to stop them.  I’m putting the needs/wants of others before my own health. I’m trying to establish and ENFORCE … Continue reading

Posted in alone, Antibiotics, Anxiety, Babesia, Babesiosis, bartonella, being ok, Being prepared, Blessed, chronic illness, chronic pain, Coinfections, Comfort, Depraved, desperate, desperate times, disappointed, Disheartened, emotional, emotions, Exhausted, Exhaustion, faking, faking being ok, Fighter, fighting back, Freaks, friends, germs, getting better, getting worse, go your own way, growing, growing stronger, Halestorm, healing, healng yourself, Hell, Help, helping yourself, holistic, homeopathic, hope, I will get better!, I will win, illness, Its not your fault, Journey, LBC, left brain, let go and let god, letting go, Life is unfair, loneliness, Love, Lyme, lyme disease, lyme's disease, Lzzy Hale, Medical, Medication Overload, Meditation, Misery, nature, No Stamina, obsessive compulsive disorder, OCD, oral medication, oral meds, Pacing yourself, poisonpeople, pretending, reflection, religion, right brain, sick, sick individual, Sleep Deprivation, spiritual, spoons, steps, Survival, TBD, TBDs, Team Lymestorm, thankful, the spoon theory, tickborne, tickborne diseases, ticks, Treatment, True love, trying new stuff, Uncategorized, what life's about, What to expect, withdrawl, yoga, Zombie | 5 Comments