Category Archives: Life is unfair

Stuck In Between

I’m stuck. Some days its more like being trapped.  The last few months have been pretty much a living nightmare.  I’ve had so many set backs with treatment.  My body is worn out and my brain is a mess most … Continue reading

Posted in alone, Antibiotics, Anxiety, Babesia, Babesiosis, bartonella, being ok, Being prepared, Blessed, chronic illness, chronic pain, Coinfections, Comfort, Death, desperate times, disappointed, Disheartened, Dying, emotional, emotions, Exhausted, Exhaustion, faking, faking being ok, Fighter, fighting back, finding your way, food, food matters, Freaks, friends, getting better, getting worse, go your own way, growing, growing stronger, healing, healng yourself, Hell, helping yourself, holistic, homeopathic, hope, I will get better!, I will win, illness, Immune problems, Immune system, Its not your fault, Journey, LBC, left brain, let go and let god, Life is unfair, LLMD, loneliness, Love, Lyme, lyme disease, Medical, Meditation, Misery, Mycoplasma, nature, obsessive compulsive disorder, OCD, oral medication, oral meds, poisonpeople, pretending, rain, rainstorms, Real People, reflection, religion, right brain, rivers, sick, sick individual, Sleep Deprivation, spiritual, Spiritualty, spoons, staying sane, steps, suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Support groups, Support\, Survival, TBD, TBDs, Team Lymestorm, Ten Millions Voices, thankful, thunderstorms, tickborne, tickborne diseases, ticks, Treatment, True love, Uncategorized, what life's about, withdrawl, yoga | 6 Comments

Death by Tick?

I am sick. Very sick. Again. I keep hiding things that I shouldn’t be.  I’m not accurately communicating even when I try my hardest.  Today has been filled with lots of tears.  My plate and cup are overflowing with guilt … Continue reading

Posted in alone, Amen, Anxiety, Babesia, Babesiosis, bartonella, Blessed, chronic illness, chronic pain, Coinfections, Comfort, Death, Depraved, disappointed, Disheartened, Dying, Educate, emotional, emotions, ER, Exhausted, Exhaustion, faking, faking being ok, Fighter, fighting back, food matters, Freaks, friends, germs, getting better, getting worse, go your own way, growing, healing, healng yourself, Hell, Help, helping yourself, hope, I am the fire, illness, Immune problems, Immune system, Its not your fault, Journey, LBC, left brain, let go and let god, letting go, Life is unfair, LLMD, loneliness, Love, Lyme, lyme disease, Lzzy Hale, Medical, Medication Overload, Meditation, Morrie Schwartz, nature, No Stamina, obsessive compulsive disorder, OCD, oral medication, oral meds, Pacing yourself, poisonpeople, pretending, psych ward, reflection, religion, right brain, Shaman's Harvest, sick, sick individual, Sleep Deprivation, spiritual, steps, suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Support groups, Survival, TBD, TBDs, Team Lymestorm, Ten Millions Voices, thankful, tickborne, tickborne diseases, ticks, Treatment, True love, trying new stuff, Tuesdays With Morrie, Uncategorized, what life's about, withdrawl, yoga, Zombie | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments

Psych Ward

This is hard one for me and one I struggled with as to whether to discuss, but I promised myself I would be open and honest about my journey through my illness and treatment.  I needed some time to process … Continue reading

Posted in alone, Amen, Anxiety, Babesia, Babesiosis, bartonella, begging for help, being ok, Being prepared, chronic illness, chronic pain, Coinfections, Comfort, Depraved, desperate, disappointed, Disheartened, Educate, emotional, ER, Exhausted, Exhaustion, faking, faking being ok, Fighter, fighting back, Freaks, friends, germs, getting better, getting worse, go your own way, growing, growing stronger, Halestorm, healing, Hell, Help, helping yourself, hope, I am the fire, I will get better!, I will win, illness, Immune problems, Immune system, Its not your fault, Journey, LBC, let go and let god, letting go, Life is unfair, LLMD, loneliness, Love, Lyme, lyme disease, Lzzy Hale, lzzyhale, Medical, Meditation, Misery, No Stamina, obsessive compulsive disorder, OCD, oral medication, oral meds, Pacing yourself, poisonpeople, pretending, psych ward, reflection, right brain, sick, sick individual, Sleep Deprivation, Spiritual, Spiritualty, spoon theory, spoons, steps, suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Support\, Survival, TBD, TBDs, Team Lymestorm, tickborne, tickborne diseases, ticks, Treatment, Uncategorized, what life's about, What to expect, withdrawl, Zombie | Tagged | 6 Comments

Deprived, Depraved, Depressed, Disheartened

I haven’t been sleeping well again. And I haven’t been taking care of myself.  I’m falling into old patterns and trying to stop them.  I’m putting the needs/wants of others before my own health. I’m trying to establish and ENFORCE … Continue reading

Posted in alone, Antibiotics, Anxiety, Babesia, Babesiosis, bartonella, being ok, Being prepared, Blessed, chronic illness, chronic pain, Coinfections, Comfort, Depraved, desperate, desperate times, disappointed, Disheartened, emotional, emotions, Exhausted, Exhaustion, faking, faking being ok, Fighter, fighting back, Freaks, friends, germs, getting better, getting worse, go your own way, growing, growing stronger, Halestorm, healing, healng yourself, Hell, Help, helping yourself, holistic, homeopathic, hope, I will get better!, I will win, illness, Its not your fault, Journey, LBC, left brain, let go and let god, letting go, Life is unfair, loneliness, Love, Lyme, lyme disease, lyme's disease, Lzzy Hale, Medical, Medication Overload, Meditation, Misery, nature, No Stamina, obsessive compulsive disorder, OCD, oral medication, oral meds, Pacing yourself, poisonpeople, pretending, reflection, religion, right brain, sick, sick individual, Sleep Deprivation, spiritual, spoons, steps, Survival, TBD, TBDs, Team Lymestorm, thankful, the spoon theory, tickborne, tickborne diseases, ticks, Treatment, True love, trying new stuff, Uncategorized, what life's about, What to expect, withdrawl, yoga, Zombie | 5 Comments

Babesia – Its Back

Its late for me to be writing.  I am swimming in the thoughts that have been brewing all day.  Even though my brain is ALWAYS worse at night than first thing in the morning, I’m getting it out (my iPad … Continue reading

Posted in alone, Antibiotics, Anxiety, Babesia, Babesiosis, bartonella, being ok, Being prepared, Blessed, caveman diet, chronic illness, chronic pain, Coinfections, Comfort, Congress, disappointed, Educate, emotional, emotions, Exhaustion, faking, faking being ok, Fighter, fighting back, food, food matters, Freaks, friends, germs, getting better, getting worse, go your own way, growing stronger, Halestorm, healng yourself, Hell, Help, helping yourself, Herx, herxing, homeopathic, hope, I will get better!, I will win, illness, Immune problems, Immune system, Its not your fault, Journey, LBC, let go and let god, letting go, Life is unfair, LLMD, loneliness, Love, Lyme, lyme disease, lyme's disease, Lzzy Hale, lzzyhale, Medical, Medication Overload, Meditation, Misery, Mycoplasma, nature, No Stamina, OCD, oral medication, oral meds, Pacing yourself, paleo, paleolithic, reflection, religion, right brain, sick, sick individual, spiritual, Spiritualty, steps, suicidal thoughts, Suicide, supplies, supply list, Support\, Survival, TBD, TBDs, Team Lymestorm, thankful, tickborne, tickborne diseases, ticks, Treatment, True love, Under Our Skin, what life's about, withdrawl, Zombie | 1 Comment

Reflection and Thanks

A year ago today I was fighting the remainder of the flu.  I was working (Southern Patrol, my favorite.) I was still searching for the correct diagnosis. I was set in my routine. I was going about life the best … Continue reading

Posted in Babesia, Babesiosis, bartonella, caveman diet, chronic pain, emotional, ER, fighting back, food matters, getting better, growing, growing stronger, healing, healng yourself, helping yourself, hope, I will get better!, illness, Life is unfair, Lyme, lyme disease, lyme's disease, Medical, paleo, paleolithic, pamela weintraub, reflection, sick, spiritual, suicidal thoughts, TBD, thankful, ticks, Treatment, Uncategorized | Tagged , | Leave a comment

System Failures and Money Matters

I am battling several diseases all of which are capable of taking my life.  At my time of diagnosis (April 2014) I was told that I would have died within 12 months time had I not received medical intervention.  That … Continue reading

Posted in Anxiety, Babesia, Babesiosis, bartonella, begging for help, chronic pain, desperate, desperate times, emotional, fighting back, finances, financial help, Freaks, healing, helping yourself, hope, illness, Life is unfair, Lyme, money, money matters, Mycoplasma, OCD, suicidal thoughts, Uncategorized | Tagged | 1 Comment

The Way

I can finally see small improvements in my treatment. Most are small by other standards, but just having more “good” days is amazing. Dosing is becoming easier (though I don’t think it could have gotten much worse after last month.) … Continue reading

Posted in Anxiety, Babesia, Babesiosis, chronic pain, fighting back, getting better, growing stronger, hope, I will get better!, Life is unfair, Lyme, lyme disease, religion, spiritual, Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment

Babesia, Oh How I Loathe Thee

I know that I should be writing more often to document all that is going on, but I’ve just been too sick and my brain has once again turned to mush. I thought I was lucky. After finishing my first … Continue reading

Posted in Antibiotics, Babesia, Babesiosis, chronic pain, fighting back, getting better, growing stronger, healing, I will get better!, IV infusion, Life is unfair, Lyme, lyme disease, ticks, Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment

Treatment Date & Details & Ramblings

Well I got the official word yesterday that on June 23rd I get my Power Line (central line) put in and start my antibiotic treatment. Its going to be a long day. I have to be in DC (a 1.5-2 … Continue reading

Posted in Antibiotics, I will get better!, Life is unfair, Lyme, lyme's disease, Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment